ROAD TO MONO FELIZ - part I
Disillusioned with Costa Rican rain, we set off east to the border, illogically hoping that political boundaries would be accompanied by marked changes in weather. after crossing a couple of very cool bridges...
... and dealing with the customary bureaucracy and border officials we were through in a near record hour and a half, having paid only $1 (for fumigation) and on our way to the most popular tourist destination in Panama - the islands of Bocas del Toro. The rain didn't let up and when we got to the depressing transport town of Almirante (a town of very poor unemployed ex plantation workers) we decided that the huge dark grey clouds had no intention of moving on, and they were bigger than we were, so we got back in the car and kept going.
Kept going we did, and despite being exhausted having clocked up 8 hours in the car by the time we got to the town of Chiriqui Grande, e-j asked a local how long it would take to cross over to the pacific side and get down to David, panama's second most populous city. He warned it was a dangerous road and it was raining heavily and there would be lots of landslides but no bandits and would take at least another couple of hours. Bleary eyed from the driving MG asked if there was a nearby hotel but e-j not quite so bleary eyed from selecting ipod music and map reading, enthusiastically said hey what's another couple of hours.
So we set off in rain which at its worst reduced visibility to less than a couple of metres. Even for the moments when the rain let up a little, the swarms of night time bugs which were attracted to the two headlights (and six gratuitous fog lights) prevented us from doing more than 15 mph. It was during one of these moderate rain, mucho bugs moments that a large warning light came up on the dashboard. Just what we needed. The message about a/t fluid or something jogged nothing in either of our mechanical course memories and neither could we remember where the manuals were. Switch the rear work lights on, put on cap and deep breath. Open door and swim through bugs to get to boot, open boot, unlock compartment and search for manual. Not here. Slap neck and calf to kill bugs. Check other section. Not here either. Bugs flying up nose and in ears. Running out of bug patience. Stinging self slap to face for single blow multiple bug kill. Finally found it, slam boot, rush back to car. Hello e-j. Interior reading light on and sniper kills with handy guidebook for suicidal mosquitoes that followed us in. Take stock of bites, not too bad, deep breath, P for parking, ignition and D for drive.
The warning light turned out to be low priority and when we caught up with a local, we used his rear brake lights as a visual guide through the rest of the military training obstacle course during meteor storm.
ROAD TO MONO FELIZ - part II
We must have looked exhausted when we turned up at the hotel in David as without even haggling they reduced the price by half. Next morning, car fluid levels checked at the petrol station, quick internet inbox update and then off to Mono Feliz, some cabins by the costa rican border swamped in wildlife of which we knew nothing but what the guidebook said.
Got to the border, turned south, and another hour got us to a large petro-terminal, where panama gets its oil delivered from immense oil tankers who can approach the land in super-deep waters and then pump them off in huge industrial pipes. The security guards asked us where we were heading from and to and when we told them we intended to drive down to Punta Burrica, they told us we were mad to attempt it in anything but a tractor. I said we had better than a tractor. Out of the little hut came an old lady who had overheard our conversation and told that evn if we timed it correctly with the tides, it was simply not possible as it was still rainy season and that we should turn around.
We thanked them for their advice and stubbornly went on through the petro-terminal. About 100m later, we came across a bunch of people around an old 4x4 which was stuck in mud. Everyone was shouting, everyone was pushing, everyone was pulling, and the i'll do my own thing thankyou very much driver was managing nothing but a great deal of smoke from his spinning tyres. As we approached with our mobile vehicle recovery equipment container heads turned to us with hope. Unable to pass up the opportunity to use our winch to get someone out of trouble, and show these guys exactly what our 4x4 can do, we thought we'd give it a go.
In the end the car was very useful but we weren't, with two locals operating the winch, mg at the wheel precisely following orders from an american, and e-j getting muddy taking photos.
By the end we were exhausted from all the x-treme fun and gladly accepted Frankie (the american with pony tail seen above)'s offer to come round to his house for a quick drink, meet his wife Mickey and the gang. the gang included:
1 x pet howler monkey named Coco
2 x pet ocelots (wild cats),
3 x dogs named Sarge, something and Butch (2 Alsatians + 1 rotweiler cross-breed respectively)
1 x toucan named Adam (recovered from critical broken wing and rotting beak condition)
1 x parrot named Querida
3 x household cats
A quick drink turned into thanksgiving dinner, and with all the warnings against going, the experience and excitement of winching, and most of all their offer to stay in their guest house or camp in the garage, the dinner turned into 2 days of kicking about at their house and getting in their way playing with their pets.
Their hospitality was remarkable and we were very much indebted to them when after 2 days of only light rain and even some sunshine, we decided to get our act in gear and go. If you guys are reading this we haven't forgotten about the coins!
